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Re: Jokes (Was: Music Scene)
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but nobody notices. But if he doesn't change it everybody wonders
(My main instrument is guitar.)
As a group, bass players tend to be the most sensible members of the band.
They show up on time, they play with good time (often better than the
drummers) and they tend to have the extra batteries, fuses and cables that
lead guitarist forgot to bring again.
When I was learning bass, one of my favourite mailing lists used to be "The
Bottom Line". It was by and large filled with sensible folks without major
ego problems. Ask Steve Lawson about it, I think he's a major contributor.
I have known flaky bass players but they are hugely outnumbered by all the
flaky guitarists, keyboardists, vocalists and drummers I've known over the
I would suspect that this list is mainly composed of guitarists and I'm a
guitarist so with that in mind:
Q: How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.
Q: How you do you make him stop?
A: Put notes on it.
Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Q: How can you tell that a guitarist is at your front door?
A: The knocking gets louder and faster and louder and faster and he still
doesn't know when to come in.
Q: What do guitarists use for contraception?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's a good thing to play on a guitar?
Q: How many loopers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One. But he'll screw it in until he screws it up.
Q: What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
A: New Age music.