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Re: Total Improv
Andy,
On Feb 18, 2011, at 6:16 AM, Andy Owens wrote:
> On Feb 18, 2011, at 9:07 AM, "Rick Walker" <looppool@cruzio.com>
> wrote:
>
>> walk onto
>> stage without a thought in my head and then just follow what comes
>> out.
>
> Man that would scare the sh_t out of me and I'm not cursing, take
> that literally!!!!
>
> But, I'm getting there!!!
>
> Andy o
This is, essentially, what I've been doing since 1987.
It's hard, and it's often inconsistent when it comes to the end result
- how could it help but be.
Real improvisation is always, always, always emotionally cathartic and
physically draining.
There is almost no way to prepare for it either.
Some of the gigs I've spent the most time "woodshedding" for have
turned out the worst.
Some of the gigs I've prepared for the very least (or not at all) have
turned out the absolute best.
But if it happens to be a situation where I am playing WITH other
performers (or perhaps traveling a good distance to play for someone's
festival) it's hard to set aside the "common sense" feeling that that
you **owe** it to them to "bone up" and put in the time preparing
anyway.
So I frequently do . . . and sadly with the same predictable
(lackluster) result.
In order to overcome this, one key (for me) seems to be to set aside
all sense of expectation . . . and any and all need to prove myself to
anyone - not an easy thing for an often over-sensitive and insecure
person like myself.
There is a sort of basic cognitive dissonance between the ideal of
total improvisation (on the one hand) and expectation of some
particular end result . . . call it "success" or whatever (on the
other).
In order to be able to do it "right," it seems that you need to **not
care** about doing it "right" . . . or any other aspect of the end
result at all . . . and enter a mind-space where process itself is
everything.
This is not the way the common everyday world works for most of us.
Our jobs (whatever they are) and our relationships (whatever those
are) all scream at us to perform to someone's expectations (if not out
own).
By nature, we don't really inhabit a world that allows us to simply be
ourselves.
That is the way it is for me at least.
Art and music are a way of pursuing it . . . indirectly.
Musical improv, or painterly improv (I've done both) are both like
child's play.
Children, at least early on . . . before they get "ruined" by us grown-
ups . . . find it easier to get into the head-space where they can
play and simply enjoy the process of playing and **not care** or
compare what the end result may be.
There is no "right" way to make a mudpie . . . or knock down a stack
of blocks . . . or make funny noises with your lips (LOL).
Overcoming the fear of live improv involves becoming a child again in
many ways.
At least it is for me.
And at 57 (almost 58) it is becoming harder and harder to do.
Perhaps when dementia finally sets in I will (finally) be brilliant at
it though . . . LOL.
Cheers,
Ted