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Re: ambivalent feelings about playing live (was: PrePrepared vs. Improvisational)

On Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 12:58 PM, Stefan
Tiedje<stefantiedje@googlemail.com> wrote:
> Mark Sottilaro schrieb:
>> On Fri, Jul 10, 2009 at 3:07 PM, Bob Amstadt<bob@amstadt.com> wrote:
>> How many people have David Torn
>> CDs?  How many people have David Bowie's Heathen? It's not because one
>> is better or marketed better.  I just think people like the format
>> that David Bowie writes in more.
> Mark, this sounds all very pessimistic. I bet if I had these thoughts in 
> head nobody would like my music including myself...

Who said I didn't like my music?  I love my music!  I love making it
too. The night before last I had an amazing time just messing around
in my studio inspired by some sounds from Waldorf's new Largo VSTi.
It's not pessimistic, it's just observation. It's not that other
people don't express that they like my music either.  What I'm saying
is that does not matter to me.  Having other people like my music does
not enhance the experience for me at all.  In fact, the worry that
they might not like my music has a much worse effect on my overall

> Thats not how magic works!

There's no such thing as magic!

> Its the opposite, if you like your own stuff, you'll share it. I bet you
> will find people which like it, because it means something to you. There 
> no need to care about the other 6 billion people in the world who'll 
> hear it anyway...

See, this is kind of what I was talking about... there's always
someone like you who seems to feel it's important to share the music
you make as if it's not enough to just make it and enjoy making it.
Trust me, I tried to make a commercial go at being a musician and it's
not in me.  I could never deal with the marketing, band wrangling and
dealing with venues it takes.  Plus, I hate traveling.  Even for
fun... it's not fun when you do a gig with Rick and Bill Walker where
you drive for over an hour, spend an hour setting up and shlepping
your gear plus a full video set up with a 16 foot screen and find out
they can't be bothered to move a monitor near you so you have to play
with headphones while smashed all the way off to the side of the stage
because they've spit the area among themselves. Awesome.  Not all gigs
end up that way, but the majority seem to fall along those lines.
It's not pessimistic to me to ask myself, "what's more fun?  2 or 3
hours of breakdown/setup/travel for an hour or less of playing in
front of an audience where I can't hear myself all that well... or 4
hours of time in my home studio alone or with a friend making music?"

The time in my studio always wins.

> I also bet that the percentage of owners of David Torn CD's which adore 
> music is higher than the percentage o owners of David Bowie, Phil 
> (fill in any star) music.

How much would you like to bet?  I'll take that kind of action any
day. ;)  I think even I adore Bowie's music more than David Torn's.